Helping Parents When Their Child Dies at University

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk The impact on the family when a child dies Their child’s death, irrespective of their age, will be a terrible shock for their parents. The student may have suffered a sudden health emergency such as meningitis or heart failure. They could have been the victim of an accident or act of violence. Their death might be suspected as suicide or could be an adverse reaction from substance use. Most likely, the cause will still have to be determined pending further investigation. Whatever the cause of death, and regardless of the student’s background, culture or religion, parents in this situation will be very raw emotionally and in need of kindness and patience. The shock may make it difficult for the bereaved parents to concentrate on the many things that need to be taken care of, and they may be forgetful. Meeting people can be very stressful, and answering simple questions is often difficult and very painful. Bereaved parents may be very emotional, angry or frustrated. On the other hand, shock and numbness may make them appear remote or indifferent to their loss. None of this is uncommon amongst those who have suffered a sudden bereavement. In the words of bereaved parents: “We need to hear our child’s name” It is very important for most parents to hear our child’s name rather than a more de-personalised reference. Getting the name right is of course vital; the name we call our child, be it a pet name or a short form, is most likely what we would like to hear, although we realise that in formal situations our child’s full name will be used.