Our grief following the accidental death of our child

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | tcf.org.uk If someone might have been responsible for our child’s death It is quite natural to feel hostility, anger, and even hatred towards any person or organisation whose actions led to the death of our child. These intense emotions can do us harm if we are unable to deal with them, plus they could intensify pre-existing mental health problems. Some bereaved parents have described how meeting the person responsible for the accident and perhaps then actively working towards forgiveness has helped them move forward, whereas others feel that what has been done can never be forgiven. We can let our own personal moral or religious beliefs guide us in this. It is a difficult and complex path upon which we will travel in our own time and way. If the person responsible was a friend or a family member, we have a colossal struggle to make room in our hearts for their sorrow and regret. There is no easy way to do this. Professional help and/or the support of others who have been through a similar tragedy may be helpful in dealing with these very difficult issues. If our child might have been responsible It is very distressing to feel that our child contributed to their own death or that they were at least partly responsible for what happened. We all make day-to-day choices that are part of living. This includes activities with an element of risk. Most of the time we manage to ‘live and learn’ from mistakes and misjudgements, but tragically our child has not had the chance to do this. On the other hand, perhaps our child’s choices were perfectly reasonable and they died doing something they enjoyed. This was an unintended, dreadful outcome.