Grieving for our child who had disabilities or complex needs

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends To lose a child is the greatest pain a parent can endure. Those of us whose child had a disability will have already faced challenges in our parenting. Our dreams for our child’s future may have been shattered as we realised the implications of their condition. We have had to come to terms with the effect that their limitations and special needs had on them and the rest of the family, and developed appropriate attitudes, responsibilities and skills in our roles as carers. Even if they had a life-limiting condition, we might still have felt unprepared for their death. We loved our children just the way that they were, and their absence from our lives is hard to bear. (In this leaflet we are discussing issues particularly related to the death of a child, of any age, who had disabilities or complex needs. You may also find it helpful to read it alongside The Compassionate Friends [TCF] leaflet, When our child has died of a long-term illness. Alternatively, the leaflet Grieving for our child who experienced mental health problems may be appropriate in your circumstances.) Our loss “As a parent of a disabled child you become an expert on what is wrong with them and the things you have to do for them to have as normal a life as possible. You learn all you can to give your child the best in any situation. Their death leaves a massive gap.” Grieving for our child who had disabilities or complex needs