Grieving for our child who had disabilities or complex needs

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | tcf.org.uk have taken their toll on us physically and emotionally, and many of us now face our bereavement following years of worry. We may also start to realise just how much of our life we put on hold to care for our child. Friendships, relationships, careers or any other personals goals may have taken a backseat. We may have become isolated due to our caring responsibilities. And while we were glad to focus on our child for all of that time, this is going to impact us going forward. It is natural to question what is now our role in life. We may eventually find ourselves thinking more about the future and how to make use of the increased time on our hands. Perhaps we will start to think about how to pursue our goals, personal interests and wider social contact. Looking forward with hope and without guilt are good things, if we can manage them. The fact that we are now starting to live a different life does not diminish the love we continue to hold for our child. Coping with a mixture of feelings “Sometimes I feel in a muddle. I was sitting there crying for my child, missing them so very much, and then it struck me that I can finally go to Australia to visit my sister, something I had been unable to do all these years. This combination of grief and relief is hard to deal with, and sometimes I do feel guilty.” Over the years, we might have been faced with difficult decisions, not only about what was best for our child, but also what was best for the rest of the family and what we were all capable of. We may have also struggled getting the support and care they needed. We might have wished to keep our child at home, but circumstances made this impossible, and our child may have gone to live in a supported facility or care home. Some of us look back at these decisions with regret,