When our sibling has died by suicide

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Spending time with friends Friends can be invaluable in helping us cope with grief, particularly those who will listen without trying to ‘fix’ us and will be with us during our difficult moments. Some friends might offer us opportunities to take a break from grieving. It’s okay to laugh and enjoy our time together. We need to keep living. Avoiding triggers Some things or people may make us feel worse. For instance, some films and programmes with storylines about suicide could be upsetting. Figuring out our own triggers and then avoiding them where possible is a good plan. The triggers may be more common in early grief but over time, we often learn to recognise and manage them better. Making wise choices It’s not surprising if the painful shock of grief can lead to seeking solace in illegal substances, drugs or alcohol. However, in the long-term these do more harm than good. The same is true of impulsive, rash, risk-taking behaviour. We might feel like nothing matters anymore, but it does. There are people who care about us. We can still have a meaningful life despite our tragic loss. We deserve to be as happy as possible. “I was pleased to get back to work after returning home for the funeral. Being busy helped.” “ I did hit the bottle for a while but finally saw how futile it was.” “After her death, it took a long time to feel like my life had any value.”