One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Taking care of ourselves “I’ll never forget how hard those first weeks were. I was distraught and could barely stop crying. At first, I wavered between disbelief and despair. Then I lost all of my energy, physical and mental. I could hardly move or eat even a bite of food.” Shock affects our mind and body. It is quite normal in this early time to struggle with the most basic functions, such as loss of appetite, inability to fall or stay asleep, and feeling colder than usual. Warm drinks, light nutritious snacks or wrapping up warm in a comforting blanket can be a good idea. Some of us find a visit to the GP for a short-term remedy for lack of sleep is helpful. Even when the initial shock subsides, we may still have to make a conscious effort to take care of ourselves. Read more on coping with early grief: • Grief of the newly bereaved tcf.org.uk/griefofthenewlybereaved • Living with grief tcf.org.uk/livingwithgrief Letting other people know “I phoned her best friends and family. Repeating the news helped me understand what was happening. It didn’t make it better but it gave me a tiny bit of control.” “We weren’t ready to post on social media, but unfortunately a family member wrote ‘she was a lovely person’, so we had to decide very quickly to write an announcement. I felt resentful that I was being forced into announcing a tragedy before I was ready, but looking back now, I never would have been ready.” One of the earliest tasks following the death of our child is informing family and friends. Those close to us will need to know what has happened and how we are doing. It can be extremely difficult to keep repeating what happened, although for some of us, talking about it is actually helpful. It may be especially hard to tell other people when we ourselves are struggling to believe the reality of what has taken place.
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