UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk How exactly we inform other people will depend on the closeness of the relationship. Some people will need to be told face to face, or at least by phone. We will need to take into consideration what a shock this could be for elderly or vulnerable family members. For other people who are less likely to be so personally affected, we may avoid repeating ourselves by recording a phone message or posting a statement on social media. Alternatively, a trusted friend or family member may be able to help with the task of informing people, including organisations such as our child’s school or workplace, as well as handling calls and messages. Depending on the circumstances of the death, news may spread on social or even mainstream media. We will want to take control of the narrative as much as we can, but this is not always possible. Social media can be a source of great comfort as a “virtual memorial”. Even strangers may offer kindness. We may or may not choose to follow closely what people write. We may return to comments later on and find great solace. However, social media can also be a minefield of nastiness and misinformation. If our child’s death “makes the news”, then online conversations may deteriorate and become negative. If this is the direction that social media is going, it would probably be better to avoid it. Trusted friends could have a helpful role here, keeping us informed without us having to face hurtful comments directly. For more on this, see the TCF leaflet Our child’s social media and digital legacy tcf.org.uk/digital-legacy Print and broadcast media may also get involved. Media intrusion can be particularly upsetting when reporting is inaccurate and ill-informed. In dealing with the media, many of us have found it best to issue a short statement and photograph, then requesting privacy in which to grieve. A friend or relative may be able to help with this task. There are media ethics and guidelines that news outlets should adhere to. Visit ipso.co.uk and search for “Reporting of deaths and inquests”.
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