One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends The emotions of grief can be overwhelming at times, and we may wonder if we will always feel such intense pain. By balancing our time between daily living and activities we enjoy, and on the other hand, taking opportunities to remember our child, we eventually find that the pain starts to mellow. However, grief is a rollercoaster and there will be times when it is more difficult. Occasions such as birthdays or the anniversary of their death will be hard. So, too, will be news reports about deaths from similar causes as our child’s. None of this can be avoided. All we can do is our best to learn to live with it. If we have other children, they will be grieving too, although probably in a different way to ourselves. We will need to decide how much detail we want to share with them about what happened to their sibling. In this, we will be guided by their age and maturity. We may become very anxious about losing another of our children and this could affect our relationship with them. Finding support “Nothing in a million years could have prepared me for what happened - the shock and the loss. I will never, ever get over it. All I can do is feel my daughter is with me and learn to live with my grief.” Being able to talk about our grief and our child is important. However, we may start to find that even supportive friends and family continue on with their lives apparently unaffected, whilst we are still enduring intense grief. In fact, some friends and family members may not be supportive at all. We could find ourselves feeling isolated. This is where The Compassionate Friends (TCF) can offer us a safe and supportive space. In TCF we will discover that there are other parents who have also been through this incredible pain. We can communicate with others who understand what we are going through, and this can make a real difference. TCF runs local support groups, larger meetings and online groups, as well as well as Facebook groups. See the back page for contact details.
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