I wrote a message to Debbie last night at Meeting point. Then I noticed it is the end of that line. Another bereavement. This time though we all know that it is going to happen because we are positively informed about it.
We are all saying farewell, goodbye, hope to meet our TCF Friends at the Forum.
Hopefully it will be ok for us all.
15 years since we had our angel day.
As long as we have memories.....yesterday remains.
As long as we have hope.....tomorrow awaits.
As long as we have friendships..today is beautiful
Love to all, Ronnie Claire's Mum always. xx
I am unsure of the Forum and how it works, but hopefully I shall work it out and be able to join.
Until then, thankyou again Meeting Point.
Much love and thoughts to all bereaved parents and families out there.
Alysia
xxxxxx
Meeting Point, you feel like a friend we all will miss very much....thank you for being our friend in so many times of need and introducing us to other very good new friends.
Lorna xX
I'd like to be holding you now in my arms
I'd like to be squeezing you tight
I'd like to carress you, enfold you, embrace you
be with you each day and each night....
However, I know, That this can't be so
But here in my heart you remain
And I'm sending you my love,with a kiss and a hug
Until we're together again...........
We know that you made some wrong choices in life Debbie.All you ever wanted was love and special hugs.You deserved much more than being lost to us at only 23.
Your 'little' 9 year old brother now towers over me aged 24......
Your sisters both with sons you never were able to have.
Watch over us please Debbie with all the other angels from our TCF families.
Love and God Bless you all......none of you will ever be forgotten
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thought about, missed and loved ... every single day x x x
I hope Im wrong . Ive noticed a lot less postings on meeting point in the last few weeks -is that because they are all already in the forum or have they decided its too complicated.
I will give it a go - I just worry about new posters .
Carolyn -Rosies mummy xx
Ive always felt that way and thats why I hardly ever use it, or even read it.
For being there in some of my darkest hours ....
Much love to all ...
Maxine
Still mum to three, to Paul 1770 - 2005 and to Jill and Dan ..... still grieving for their brother, me, for my lost child ... but getting on with life as best as we all can x x x
You were the first stop place for many a bereaved parent, including me. You will be sadly missed and I hope that those that used you will now join us on the Forum area where support is given just as freely.
Missing you already....
Frog
This was the first contact I made on here, after losing our beautiful Angela 4 years ago, I have met and made many friends through Meeting Point and received such wonderful comfort & support..
THANK YOU ALL
Sending much love to Everyone and hope you will all use the Forum ...
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Frances
Mum of our beautiful Angela, lost in 2003 to a fatal Asthma Attack xx forever in my heart xx
We all know how desperate you are feeling - we can never recover from the loss of a child only support one another. However long ago you lost your child the memories are still vivid and the pain still raw - don't be hard on yourself.
Happy birthday to your beloved child and sweet memories to you.
Love Ronnie Claire's Mum always xx
I often wonder how you are and think of your precious Victoria, as Lauren's mum says please log onto the Forum, the support there is invaluable.
xx
Dear Agony
you are not alone and are definitely not pathetic
the loss of a child whatever their age is not something you can get used to and everyone should be able to say Happy Birthday to their child.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow and will light a candle for the one you miss so much.
xx
Feeling disbelief
Happy Birthday for tomorrow my child.
(Anonymous because I should be used to this, feel ashamed for being so pathetic)
Just want to be able to say it
Happy Birthday
Where are you?
Please log in again to the forum - don't feel alone. I am already thinking of you and Victoria on the countdown to July 11th. I think of you both so often - our girly girls, pink and blonde and only 17. I know how much you are hurting.
With love and big hugs to you
Bridget
xx
Thinking of you and your beautiful Victoria,
Ronnie Claire's Mum always xx
It will be 2 years ago this July since my daughter, Victoria, was killed in a car accident. She was 17 and beautiful.
The pain won't go away. There is no comfort to be found.
Sorry if this is disjointed but I type through tears.
Dear Judy - Special thoughts of you and Alex
We all try and help each other on this long and difficult road -
Love Ronnie, Claire's Mum always xx
I understand your emotions after just five months of losing your precious daughter Sasha. I too am finding it very hard to cope since the loss of my beautiful daughter Alex. I will wait to hear from you.
Wit much love Judy xxxx
Having said all this, my reason for posting tonight is because it will be 5 months on Monday that I lost my Sacha, and I am finding it so, so hard to cope. I'm not in any way expecting any answers from any of you, as I know that you have/are going through these same emotions as I am - I am merely venting my thoughts and emotions.
FOR JUDY,
Thankyou so much for your reply to my email a couple of weeks ago. I am sorry that I have not replied as yet, I hope you can understand that emotions are out of control at present, but I WILL email you ASAP.
All my love to my precious Sacha,
From Mummy
xxxxxxxxxx
We understand, you can talk to us.
In compassion, Frog
I`ve lost my hope, i lost my child.
Miss him so much...i can`t belive it.
In never-ennding love
Jessica, mama of Franjo
Meeting Point in a different form continues in the Forum. You need to register there, please join us there. Just click on the Forum on the left scroll bar and follow the instructions to register.
Please do not be left out.
Love Frog
I have tried to persuad her to talk or what-ever else and requested help from her school / g.p. etc to find ways of if nothing else coping with her - to no avail.
I think the old cliche "time" ..........
Not sure if this applies but................ I lost my 34 year old brother just over 2 years ago. I am now 38 and my surviving brother is now 34 also. Although we are not "young" anymore so to speak, it feels like I have lost two brothers because our relationship has never been the same and probably never will be. We were once close but sadly, I cant help him losing a brother and neither can he help me.
Sorry to all siblings out there because it hurts just as much.
I for one thought I had 'everything' but sadly I no longer do. I have a wonderful little family of my own and 2 beautiful children BUT I have also lost 2 brothers..........but only 1 actually died.
I tried and tried and tried to help my late brother to no avail and sadly it would seem I cant even help my younger one. Us siblings will never be the same....whatever age. We just have to try in our own way to cope with the bad days cause we all get them....even 2 years on and probably will forever.
Love and compassion to all. Hang on in there. Still hurts. Just becomes that tiny bit more bearable.
Jill (Paul's Sister 1970-2005)
love to all especially other dads
My closest friend has a new born baby.The baby was born for 2,5 months earlier through caesarean and now doctors saying after the tests that baby has a haemorrage of the brain is there any hope for this baby to survive and do not have any brain damage?
Thank you for help.
Ann - I have e-mailed you personally, our sons seem so alike.
For everyone struggling today ... just hang on in there, you may cope a little better tomorrow - the situation will be the same, but sometimes, we feel stronger, but don't beat yourself up, if you have a bad day, or days, or weeks, or months, ''WE'' know how we feel, don't we? And it's all part of what life is now, and it's OK .... and feeling bad is OK, no matter how near or far down this road you happen to be.
My daughter told me the other day that oneof my friends said, it's been over two years now, surely ther are over it by now?
Oh isn't she lucky not to have the feelings inside her that ''WE'' do? It didn't deserve an answer, she could not possibly understand because both her children are still alive.
Much love to all ....
Paul's mum (Paul Barnes 13.09.70 - 04.02.05)
And Jill and Dan's mum too ....
Love Maxine x
Just a reminder that a new thread called Poetry Corner has been set up on the forum and a variety of discussion topics are available to use as you did Meeting point. If you have any problems registering to use the forum then please let me know.
Paula
love Liz P
tried to mail you, still could not get through, such a long time since we wrote to each other, but have not forgotten you or your dear son. Would love to hear from you, and anxious to get details of your book. have put my e-mail on for once, it is always on the Forum though.
Love P xx
Love P
Don't have your email address, please email me (it hasn't changed) and I will give you details of my book.
Ann
Carolyn, sorry I haven't been in touch lately, things have been difficult for a few weeks. Good luck though, sure Rosie will make the sun shine for you all!
Ann, please mail me, not sure if I still have contact with you, maybe you changed your mailing address? Would love a copy of your book.
Love to all, so sorry about Meeting Point, but wht don't you all join us on the Forum? We even manage to have some laughs on there at times, try it and see.
I'm off to New Zealand for a couple of weeks today and know Elliot will be with me so that is something exciting for his birthday.
Love to all and so very sorry that the meeting point will no longer be in use soon. It really is such a shame.
Thinking of all of you that are in this dreadful situation and sending lots of love to you and your children.
Thinking of you today.
Love Frog
I've e-mailed you.....
Love
Frances xxx
I have just published a book - which covers life during my son's undiagnosed mental illness due to the effects of drug mis-use and his subsequent suicide. It's a journey through my grief and the unbearable sadness we all feel after we've lost a child. If anyone would like to read my story please email me for details. TCF will recieve a donation for each book sold.
Samantha xxxxxxxxx
My candle will be alight tonight for your beloved Elliott - Love, strength and compassion to you - Ronnie Claire's Mum always xx
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and Elliott today. I have sent you a p.m.
love Bernie x
To clarify my e mail address the j is a j and the g is a g. Hope very much to hear from you soon.
With love to you and Sasha
Judy
I've sent you an e-mail....
Much love
Frances xx
Today, the day I have been dreading, the 1st anniversary of my darling Elliot's accident. I can't understand why we feel so dreadful on this one day when we live with this awful thing all the time but it is true, I feel absolutely dreadful today and began crying all day yesterday and as soon as I woke up this morning. I am going to visit his grave and also the scene of the accident and leave some flowers and light a candle and am then meeting up with all his friends and we are going to try to make it a day when we share stories about Elliot and try to celebrate his life and not be too sad but unfortunately don't think it is going to work. Keep getting these awful panic attacks and feel I just can't breathe because the pain of losing him is just too much. My stomach is constantly doing butterflies. Keep thinking about last year and can't understand why I was so calm when faced with the news that he had been killed. If it was now I would never have let him go and certainly wouldn't have let them take my baby for post mortem. I can't bear the thought of them taking him away from me and me not being with him. I don't if anyone can identify with this. Just can't understand why a year ago when it all happened that I just remained so very calm. My GP says it was my training coming into play because I am a registered nurse but I just think I didn't want to face the truth. I still have days when I just think this can't be true and I will wake up to find it was just an awful dream and he is still here with me :-( So sorry to go on, just a really bad day for me and so full of pain and anger. Thanks to all who said they would light candles for my darling Elliot. Lots of love Samantha xxxxx
Thankyou for your post the other day. I do remember you replying to my first posts a few weeks ago - you stayed in my mind because our daughters had been taken from us in what seemed to be very similar circumstances.
I would very much like to email you personally, as invited, but am unsure of your email address as you have shown - I am not sure if the "j" is "j" or "i" and if the "g" is "g" or "q" in the address you gave in this site.
Would it be possible for you to clarify this for me, as I think that it could, hopefully, benefit the both of us if we could email each other personally.
Love and thoughts to you and Alex
xxxxx
I replied to you before telling you about my daughter Alex who also had special needs and died within two days of a bacterial infection, causing pneumonia and sceptacemia. She was 15 years old and like you my world has fallen apart. I am absolutely devastated and broken hearted.
Please e mail me if you feel you want to.
With love to you
Judy xxx
As I said in my previous post, I have not written for a while, as I am here, there, and everywhere at the moment. However, I have looked briefly over the past few days of posts, and feel that I must send to you both, and your family, my thoughts and well wishes for Michael to have a speedy recovery from his operation. This is such a cruel blow to your ever-present situation of losing your precious child.
You were one of the first to respond to my initial post a few weeks ago, and you must have then known about Michael's condition, but you still managed to try and give me some comfort. I am so grateful for that - you are one of life's precious souls!!!
Much love and thoughts to everone on this site
Alysia
xxx
This post is not a request for answers, I am merely expressing my thoughts into words.
It's been some time since I've posted on here, must be at least 9 months or so.
It's 2 years next June 30th since my lovely Jake passed away and I can't believe how the time has gone so quickly.
The pain is still as great as ever, it never goes away. Everyday is a constant struggle. From the moment I wake I'm thinking of him to the moment I go to bed.
He would have been 13 years old April just gone. A teenager. How I would have loved to have seen him in his school uniform but he died before I that could happen.
I miss him so much and cry every single day. The longing and yearning becomes so intense sometimes that I consider suicide but never seem to have the courage to do it. It would devastate my family and they've already suffered enough.
I'm sorry my posting is so negative but I feel so alone and lost. I suppose you could say it's utter despair. Nowhere to turn to nowhere to go. I just wish the pain would subside sometimes, like a switch you can turn on and off. But we all know that doesn't happen.
To me, my Jake was the best thing in my life and to die at the tender age of 11 years of a brain haemorrhage that we never knew he had and all within in an hour of feeling unwell, well you can imagine, the pain and suffering and just goes on and on. My only child.
Sleep tight my sweet boy, love you always...Mum
Thank you for listening to me....I just needed to express myself somehow and believe it or not this does help in some small way, because I know that there are many parents out there that have lost their children or loved ones and you all know exactly how I feel.
MY LOVE TO YOU ALL AND OUR ANGELS
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Jake's mum forever
Keep writing, it helped me lots, and I got stuck several times, and indeed have several unfinished bits that I abandoned. I got a magnetic poetry set, picked out the apt words, you know the ones, despair, black etc, and I got started again. Just try writing all those words and see what happens. Hugs Eileen.
Sue, Stevies Mum,
Top left on the blue strip is 'contact TCF' please send a message to Web Support, I am sure they can help sort you out on the Forum. There is a whole world of conversations in there, and I cannot bear the fact that you cannot get in.
Love Frog
I have not posted much of late. These are some thoughts that I wrote recently and I wanted to share them with you.
It feels like everything I write is crappy at moment. Have difficulty with flow and following through.
A shadow over my thought. A black bird calls and stays in my heart. So all I do is influenced and informed by his death.
Others do not know this, it is alien to them. A loss that is all encompassing and hardly gives space to think in the way I use to. This is what stops me from being so enthusiastic as I use to be. The world feels less of an oyster. I am learning to live with it painfully and slowly.
With Love
Eileen xx
Just wanted to say that Im sorry to hear about Mike's health problems and hope that he will make a good recovery. You have always been there for so many people on this site, and always remember the anni's and birthdays of our precious children.
Take good care of yourselves, my thoughts are with you.
Love Suex
I am still having trouble trying to get onto the forum and so I wont be able to communicate with many of you soon, so I would just like to take the opportunity to say THANKS FOR THIS WONDERFUL SITE, and give thanks to all the people that have helped me along this very difficult and emotional path of life now.
Love and Peace to you all.
Sue Stevie's Proud Mumxxxxxxx
I am seldom on meeting point now but I do occassionally look in.
I just want to say my thoughts are with you both as you face another of those awful things that life throws at us.
You have always been such a strength and comfort to others and I wish you all the strength and comfort back a hundred fold
Love
Doroth
Dear Lorna and Carolyn,
I can only say similar. We all feel for you and are with you helping you through
Love
Dorothy
I am sorry you have been through such a bad time . I am sending lots of healing light to Mike . Angela will be watching over you.
With love Carolyn Rosies mummyxxxx
I don't often post on meeting point but i would just like you all to know that i am thinking about you all.
Lorna can you receive emails?
love
Roseanne
xxx
X
Sorry for a 'day late' for Rosie's 12th Birthday
But just to let you know, I was thinking of her yesterday...
Dear Lorna
I'm so sorry reading about the burglary and the loss of your precious things, we send our love and sympathy. What a horrible thing to happen, such awful mindless people out there...hugs & love..
To: All my friends whom I haven't e-mailed or answered their messages... I will soon
Mike has just had major surgery for Prostate cancer, (5 days ago) diagnosed back in March.. it has been caught early so we are all very hopeful for a cure. As you may imagine it has been a very stressful and extra emotional few months for us and all our family.....
He is now home, and very slowly recovering from the surgery and the Anaesthetic, which has been an enormous worry due to his chest problems! We are due up to hospital Thursday for a cystogram to check on the 'internal surgery' so if that is o.k. it will be the first step on this extra journey we now find ourselves on!!!
Thank you for all your messages of good wishes, will answer them soon..promise...
Much love to All and precious thoughts to all our beautiful children xxxx
Love
Frances xxx
Thank you Carol, Carolyn and Pat
The shock is beginning to wear off a little....
I feel sick and angry. How DARE they.
Fionas mobile number was still in my phone and she smiled at me from her photo every time I opened my purse.
Cautionary advice......I thought our photos were safe on the computer but they stole it as well as the camera with recent photos in it. We will save special photos on the web from now on.
I'm a wreck this morning but know I'm surviving far worse.
Sweet memories for tomorrow - I hope Rosie is celebrating somewhere in that special place, with all our lovely children. Love, strength and peace Ronnie Claire's Mum always xx
Thank you for letting me ramble on, and thank you again Carolyn for your kind words of support. It means a lot to know I am not alone in this agonising sadness. I, too, hope that our Rosies are happy together.
Sending you much love and support,
Carolyn B xx
I am so sorry -that is truly horrible . I have posted you a letter which you should get Tuesday.
Hugs and strength to my lovely friend
xx
Carolyn B
All I can say is I truly understand your sadness and disbelief. I also look at my Rosies tree and think how can it be possible when all Rosies friends are so tall, grown up now and healthy , that all that is left of my beautiful talented mischievous girl is a tree with a box of ashes buried beneath.
I wish you so much stength for your Rosies birthday.
Like you , as a teacher I put on a very successful mask each day and can easily take classes all day and smile at everyone and watch them progress into the sort of performer that Rosie should and would have been.
The other day for example I sat through a Disney casting session where Rosie should have been and had to talk to the casting director about the other children -Rosies classmates and how good they were. I can almost kid myself on days like that and every day I am in class , so good am I these days at wearing the "professional" hat- the painted smile. How I do that I really dont know.
The minute I get home [alone now because my older daughter is in college in London during the week,] the door shuts and the ache sets in. I can sit here for hours staring at meeting point and rocking!
I have two lives now. One is my professional working life , my other is that of total sadness and silence and then of course in the middle of the two is my work with the charity where I try to honour Rosie but every week lately seem to be dealing with child death -because by the very nature of the work I do with our charity we are working with terminally ill children and that is hard .
I think Carolyn you are very brave like we all have to be -just know you are not alone .
Love and Rainbows and I really hope our two little Rosies will be celebrating together.
Its a very tough life.
Carolyn -Rosies mummy xxxx
I have days like you when I seem totally fine, in control, and completely together (I am a teacher so I have to be in class), but today I have just felt so very sad and lost. Why aren't they here, our children. Where are they? Rosie should be here to laugh and celebrate her birthday. I just find it unbearable.
Thankyou for expressing your thoughts. I too will miss meeting point - it has been my lifeline over this long 2 and a half years. I know when I open MP up there will be someone who is expressing the thoughts I am thinking and feeling.
love to you all,
Carolyn B xx
In reply, you would be amazed at the number of new parents who ONLY use the Forum. It is not about them and us, it is we, we are a whole.
As a registered Charity and Company, TCF MUST look after the well being of us 'vulnerable adults'. I am afraid that MP is just too open. Please be prepared to try the new website and keep an open mind about it.
A great deal of hard work is, as we speak going into it, not for them, but it is for US...without us, TCF is nothing.
As I say, we are, me, TCF, Trustees, will always be open to comments. TCF can accept criticism and readily asks for suggestions. With regret, MP, has to go. As said it will be archived, so it can always be read. I myself can see my own 'progress' from my postings and I will forever be greatful to my old friend MP.
But,move we must. I trust you like the new site when it comes. Not one of us likes change, and it comes at a time when change is the worst blow we have already had, a time when we think we can take no more of it. I understand this, you know I do. Please, all of you, trust me. I am not here for adualation, nor profit, I am here 'cos I lost my only child and I need comfort too, I would never wish to harm any of you. Bear with TCF please.
With love Frog
thank you for your prompt response to the comments made about meeting point.
I'm sure that like myself, others are aware of the hard work that goes into running TCF and I applaud any bereaved parent who is able to help out. I fund raise tirelessly for TCF but do not ever think I could get involved in the running of it and I think all the volunteers are fantastic.
I was unaware that we can be exploited,apart from the spanners accessing ths site and maybe being able to e.mail me direct (which I promptly identify and delete). Perhaps this is down to my naivety or faith in human kindness, or just plain luck that I have never been 'exploited'?
As I said in my previous post (as did Carolyn), I rarely use the Forum and therefore would not have accessed it on 21st August 2006 to know that my vote was needed.
It seems obvious that a decision has been made that cannot be reversed therefore I would like to thank those who have posted messages of support to me when I have needed your help and I wish you all Peace and Love.
Jackie xx
I have read your views on the loss of Meeting Point, and am replying as a service user, and also as one who has been involved in the matters arising from the total re vamp of the site. Please bear with me here.
It has long been known, that ‘people’ harvest e mail addresses from MP and use them to no good. It is also known, that by placing you innermost feelings here, in public view, your ‘material’ can be replicated by anyone, be it press or others. All of us are vulnerable after the loss of our child/children. Now, I am not happy with the fact that I can be a target.
One comment was that the ‘Spam messages are eventually removed’…this is true, but it has to be done by someone. And very few bereaved parents ‘assist’ in the running of TCF. I did it for a few days last year whilst Derek was away, and I can tell you that it took a considerable amount of time, several hours a day. There is also the fact, that some of these messages ‘can corrupt’ the whole system, resulting in it crashing. This is rare, but again, a considerable amount of time and effort is taken to restore the data base, and whilst it is non existent, it causes unnecessary distress to those needing the site.
On the Forum, on August 21, 2006, a topic was started about the Redevelopment of the Web Site and services, those comments were taken to meetings with web users such as me and decisions were made as a result. That was the time to have your say. So, I am sorry, but I think the time to vote on this issue has long since past. I know, and am well aware of how comforting Meeting Point has been, but it has to change. Just as TCF is changing. The web site was developed many years ago, and the increase in ‘usage’ has been phenomenal. Many 1,000’s of percents but since then, the development of Spammers had also become more sophisticated. And so must we.
We are adopting a new web site, using previous comments, and I can assure you that navigation is of the utmost importance and new members will be directed into the correct area easily. We are still willing to listen to your concerns, but a vote now is not an issue.
Thank you for reading this and I trust that when the new site is formed, you will give it a go, and comment again.
With love and compassion, Frog
During the night of 17th May, while we slept, we were burgled. Amongst other items, my phone, laptop, cameras, handbag, purse, house keys and car were stolen.
If you know our home address, please will you write to me with your email addresses and mobile phone numbers.
We are both emotionally and physically exausted BUT we hold on -the worst has happened and we are surviving - we'll get through this mindless act.
Excuse my tears...... I can't text, nor email you my friends..... when we can we'll set up new email accounts. Please know I hold you all in my thoughts and send much love. xX
Fiona, love you SO much sweetheart xx
15 months on my heart aches even more for you, i love you Holly and im so sorry we couldnt make you better, love you lots mummy
I endorse Carolyns point re the negatives of removing Meeting Point.
I have been using meeting point for a number of years and have found it to be my saviour at very difficult times and I hope i've used it to help others as they were suffering.
I may not post on here as often as I did but I still log on numerous times each day to read peoples posts. Although it saddens me deeply to see new people here, I think it wonderful that they have found somewhere to seek solace and understanding and can possibly see through the experiences of us further 'down the line' that they can survive their loss with the help of us here.
I can spot the spammers a mile off and therefore just scroll through them. They do not offend me, they're just a nuisance but one I'm prepared to put up with if it means meeting point could continue.
I appreciate that there may be issues from the trustees point of view that we may not be aware of and if so, I would be interested to know what they are. If not, I again would be interested in knowing their reasons for removing it.
It would seem such a waste to remove it if it was just a case of having to manage the spammers postings.
I myself have never used the Forum to a great extent and like Carolyn would seldom utilise it in the future.
In meeting point, we have the opportunity at any given point to off-load and share our feelings and hopefully receive a response that will lift our spirits and make us feel a little better if only for a short while.
I would welcome the opportunity to vote on this issue in the hope that majority rules!
Love and light to all
Jackie xx
Having read the messages at the Meeting Point and contacting other TCF friends I must say that I think Carolyn has a really valid point of view concerning these 'spammers'.
May be there is a possibility for people to have their say about the closure of Meeting point or not. Why should we be bullied by the sick spammers.They are clearly sad twisted people.We don't want our site to be closed.
Yes. I agree that we should feel protected and this is a possible way of dealing with the problem, however it is more complicated to use the Forum and all my TCF friends agree they prefer the Meeting Point.
When newly bereaved parents first log on I think they will have adequate warnings by reading the page which is first displayed where we have been informed of the closure.
Could it be possible to have the choice?
Can we vote on the final outcome?
We can then choose to use one or other according to our needs. We all know how horrible these intruders are.Don't ever click on or respond to them.Eventually they are removed but those doing the job cannot watch 24 hours a day.
I would be interested in reading other peoples responses to all of this especially those newly bereaved.
Special thoughts and love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx for our angels xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Love to all, Ronnie Claire's Mum always xx
I am not looking forward the day meeting point moves.
Ive been thinking about it a lot and to be honest I wonder whether I will use the forum .
I love the accessiblilty of meeting point and the fact that you cant miss it. I find the forum confusing with so many posts I never get a chance to read and assimilate all of them.
Why cant we just ignore the spammers like we all every day on our own e mail and carry on as usual.Ive had various comments from tcf friends who all seem to say the same-that they may not bother after the change. Even more importantly ,I think we will lose a lot of new bereaved -its hard enough to even post first time on meeting point let alone trying to navigate round the forum when you are in a distressed state.
Carolyn Rosies mummy xxx
Sophie will be sooo proud of you going down that wall. Good luck to you.Let me know what it was like?
LD
I understand the word 'barron'. Our lives, although plausible most times after the 'beginning' become somewhat 'barron'. I have a life, and I laugh, and carry on, but it is not the same. But, I have a life.
I understand
Love Frog
I understand. Realised when we were chatting today - neither of us are up to very much at present, although we try. Just know that I am still here for you, brighter days must turn up soon.
It helped so much having your support.
It was a really dreadful day. I think perhaps I had got too confident that I could now handle all these special days and be able to function seemingly normally.
It hit me like a ton of bricks and I did not handle it at all .
I cried most of the day . The smallest things set me off. I was given some flowers from an old school friend of Rosie. The message which said " In Memory of Rosie" and the sweet words inside totally reduced me to a wreck.
I cried when people remembered and cried when they didnt.
What do you do!!
I simply cannot work out why , when I am in public , making speeches , like I did last week at a charity ball , I can come across as totally in control and yet I cant even take my dog out for a walk some days without crying and being in total despair.I know now after 4 years that time is of no consequence. Four years , Four weeks or forty years , wont change anything.
We get through the day and then there is the next and the next and then its next year and it still hurts as much and the missing doesnt go away.
There is no pattern and no let up .
Sorry -I am so low at the moment and not much use to anyone .
Carolyn -Rosies mummy xxx
Im so sorry for your loss. Please come back soon, were all here for you.
Georgina
thinking of you today on Rosie's birthday. Maybe we will catch up soon on MSN. Love always
I am so sorry to have missed Jason's birthday ... I don't know where ''I've'' been lately, and now I've come back to Meeting Point, I have found out that it's going soon ..
What a lifeline this has been to us all ... in those dark early days, and in the days that come afterwards ...
Peaceful Angel birthday - albeit belated, for Jason.
Love Maxine
Paul's mum x x x
You have worked so very hard to highlight the trauma and desolation of losing a child.You will be certain to create awareness and Callum will be proud of you because we all are at TCF. Your Callum will be with you tonight. I am sure everyone will be watching and listening.The time leading up to such a programme is the worst as you have no idea how they edit these things.Yes,it drained me when I took part in a similar production but I did it for Debbie.
Do take care and be kind to yourself,
Much love Margaret xxxxx
xxxxx for Callum xxxxx
Remembering beautiful Rosie on her Anniversary today... we send Rosie Love & thoughts xx
I hope precious memories of Rosie and all who have benefited through 'Rosies Rainbow fund' give you some peace and hope for the future. You both, are in our thoughts today..
Much love
Frances & Mike
Thank you for the post to Meeting Point. It sums up a lot of emotion and the 'journey' through grief too. You wrote it so eloquently, although I was saddend by your anonymity.
No reason for us to know, just a curiosity. But, ah, then the cat eh?
Take care my friend for when those cracks next appear, mine start later in the year.
Frog
How well you put all the thoughts we have inside us in your posting today.
The passage of pain described in your entry is so very true. We all exist along this journey on a roller coaster of emotions. The Meeting Point has been such a lifeline to so many.Let's hope that the changes in the future don't destroy all that.We will not let it happen.
The description of being an egg is an inspired one and easy to relate to.
My anguish has been like a scabbed wound that from time to time is knocked and bleeds once again.Constantly there.
I will continue this journey alongside TCF friends especially those contacted as individuals over the years.
So many thanks to 11040-Another Entry for putting a voice to all those who have been here.
I echo your words of Thanks to the Meeting Point
xxxxxxxxxxxfor all our angelsxxxxxxxxxxxx
I have met good friends here. Thank you.
There is often not the same need for me to come to the site so often now. I fell, screamed and over time, with your support, got onto my knees. Hardly without noticing, you helped me to my feet. Most of the time, I not only walk, I look back and see how many strides I have taken.
And yet, and yet..........
Despite telling of how my pain is now 'livable with', the internal clock is stirring once again. I am again so fragile.
Some time ago, I told a friend here that I had become an egg. Mostly, the long road of grieving has resulted in my FEELING the shell is intact. Now and again, I realise it never can be. Somewhere in my apparent strong outer shell , a hairline fracture is unseen. It waits. Hidden so well that even I can make myself believe it isn't there. But it is. It ALWAYS will be. As the next weeks unfold again, the hairline fracture forces a break and once more I will be back on the floor SCREAMING. I can almost FEEL the process as a physical rupturing.......
BUT But but I HAVE to hold onto to the fact I have been here before, many times. I DID survive the 'today again' and I WILL again. I HAVE to, we all do don't we. (No question mark Meeting Point, you know how it is..no response needed for the rhetorical question)
I am relieved to read that you will be incorporated into the forum. You and I have a long standing relationship and it would be more pain if you too completely disappeared from daily sight.
My very precious much loved loaned child, you know much you are loved. You always will be. For you, I will be on the floor and scream again. For you, I will then stand and take tentative steps till I feel more secure. One day, you'll see me striding then running toward you for an eternal hug.oh what a day that will be
Meeting Point, thank you for being here, safe transition for the next part of your journey. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Love
Georgina x
It's a few hours before I leave for this epic journey. I am experiencing a range of emotions at this moment, didn't sleep very well last night dreading leaving my family.
As Jayne said the support we have had from you has been amazing and it does make a difference to us knowing you are all behind us. Thank you for all your emails, pm's and txt and of course to all of you that have donated to the fund. As I have said previously, The Compassionate Friends was/is a lifeline to me. I know I would not have come this far without the support and reassurance of this site and the special friends I have made. Thank you.
A special thank you to Lin, Tom's mum for my scallop shell, you have been so very kind, it will be returned to the Sea at Finnesttera.
Janebeth, will be thinking of you on the 2nd June.
Jayne !
A candle will be lit regularly along the way for all of our children that have Gone Too Soon.
Everybody now " We can walk 500 miles".......
Pilgrim Hugs
Marie xxxxx
tcfadmin@ntlworld.com
paula_skinner@ntlworld.com
paula_skinner@hotmail.com
One of them must work. I hate computers.
Paula
I too have just tried to email you with a few questions about being able to get on to the TCF Forum, but I too am unable, as it says that your email add is incorrect! I notice another mum posted the same question to you?
It would be such a great shame to loose this very valuable site please help us......!
Kind regards,
Sue Stevie's Mum
TO ALL THOSE "TENDER CARING FOLKS"
AT THE SCOTTISH GATHERING - YOU WERE ALL A PLEASURE TO BE WITH, NO DOUBT ALAN WILL BE THE FIRST ON THE LIST, WHEN NEXT YEARS DATES ARE PUBLISHED.
TO THE ORGANSING COMMITTEE KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK YOU DO
YOU HAVE FOUND THE RECIPE OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP
WE APPROACH JASON'S BIRTDAY TOMORROW WITH
OUR BURDEN OF GRIEF A LITTLE LIGHTER
"THANK YOU"
It has been a while since I have posted and im here today cause ive taken a bit of a nose dive. Its been four and a half years since i lost my little baby boy yet suddenly i cant cope again!(if i ever did!)i dont understand the process of grief its like even when i think i am doing pretty ok i feel so guilty almost like im not allowed to be happy please does anyone else feel like this i truly feel like i am going crazy! to top it all off i now understand that we are to lose this fantastic place that is so much comfort to us all i really hate the world as it is all i do is pray for the day i leave this awful place and am once again with my angel family.Love to all xx xx
Thought I would post some better news today. I am running the Edinburgh Marathon for the Child Bereavement Trust since we lost Jack. Hope to raise about £3,500 for them. The school are having a non uniform day on Friday to raise funds so will make sure Michael, Jack's younger brother, has his £1. Must say, I've found the running a good thing to focus on over the months.
I wonder if one way to get rid of the spam postings is to have a username and password to enable you to post online. Might email TCF with this suggestion.
Take care
Mike
Forgive being a day late! but thoughts and love to Simon, your precious brother on his 2nd Anniversary Day...
Much love Kathryn xx
Frances x
I have just sent you a private e-mail about your posting. These 'spammers' have no idea what destruction and upset they are causing. Or do they? Please ignore them. I am also having problems getting my TCF contact sorted and it is obviously a very difficult task that Paula has taken on board.Hopefully my confusion will clear and we shall be able to get our problems sorted.Don't give up. We are all in this together and are only an e-mail away from each other.
Take care, Margaret -Debbie's mum.
Warmest regards
Paula
For many years, I have helped Derek, our previous webmaster, to keep our website up to date and to wage war on the spammers who try to undermine the good that TCF does.
Following Derek's resignation, I have kept the website going until Paula accepted the position of Web Administrator. I also visit Meeting Point, Poetry Corner and TCF Forum at least four times daily to remove unwanted spam, pornographic messages and on-line traders.
I am slowly handing over to Paula with the assurance that I will always help her should she need it.
Meeting Point and Poetry Corner are accessible to all worldwide and those with malicious intent can read your most precious messages, so invading your privacy, and can harvest emails from the site using specialised software. Continued use of this facility increases the risk of someone being able to infiltrate the site and cause possible abuse to vulnerable bereaved persons.
It is for this primary reason that the Trustees decided to close Meeting Point and to ask that you use TCF Forum instead. It is easy to register and your privacy will be better protected.
As Paula said in her message, there will be special threads for your messages and all the existing postings will be archived so that they will still be available to you via TCF Forum.
Can I ask for your patience whilst the transition takes place and that you give Paula all the support that she needs in her continuing job of TCF Web Administrator.
Yours, in compassion,
Jim.
Love Helen
xxxxHollyxxxx
I am sorry that we all have to suffer these spammers and peddlers of pornographic material. They blast our site daily using special software that will post multiple messages on multiple sites at the same time. Since taking over as Web Administrator I am checking Meeting Point and Poetry Corner at least three times each day. I am also notified every time a new post is made on these pages and each morning I must receive around 50 emails. As you know there are not 50 messages posted in a day and I do try to remove them fairly early in the morning so that they don't get too entwined in your genuine messages. Derek did a good job here and I possibly cannot spend as much time checking as he did. Nevertheless the forum will provide the same facility as meeting point with a thread that people can post as they do now as well as a separate place for poetry corner. Spammers are increasing and it is possibly a coincidence that it has coincided with the discussions on the upgrading and validation on our web pages.
I am still at the learning stage of administering web tasks with superb support behind the scenes from the trustees and other Members. I hope I can reassure you that there is logical resoning behind each decision which I will try to explain to you each time someone raises such a query.
Warmest regards to you all
Paula (Josh's Mum)
PAGES, When i lost my daughter meeting point was the first place i contacted in my moment of desperastion.
Lets hope that these SPAMMERS Dont find them selfes walking in our shoes.
My love to everyone here xx
So sorry to read about the loss of your precious son Joe but glad that you now feel able to post on this site and I hope in time you find as much support from TCF as so many other bereaved parents have. I lost my son, and only child, in Aug 06 and have posted on the forum about both my feelings and him but have always felt uncomfortable with the exposure of meeting point so rarely post here but wanted to respond to you question about a local group in the Coventry area.
Joe and Iris Lawley co-founders of TCF run a local group not far from Coventry, they are the most compassionate people, and I know would make you exceptionally welcome. You may like to read Joes comments about TCF, click on the “About TCF” heading on the menu bar and then select “History of the Compassionate Friends”. If you ring the TCF helpline 0845 123 2304 they will be able to assist you in making contact.
I’m aware from a post to Shaun that you have registered to join the forum and look forward to welcoming you there.
Take care
Love
Jane x
If they had any moral standards they would go and stop posting s*** and leave us alone.
Im sorry but i dont understand how people can post spam and stuff on a website were we are all supporting each other with the loss of our child/ren.
Thinking about you all
Helen
xxxxHollyxxxx
(You will find it very hard to upset people with the trivial on TCF)
I look forward to talking to you in the Forum. I am on holiday next week but I will catch up
as soon as I am home. Keep talking, it does help.
You will be made very welcome when you go to the Forum (it always sounds like ancient Rome !)
Shaun x
There are a lot of changes going on and we have to believe it will be better in the long run. No one likes change
but it has to happen saddly to protect US and TCF.
Does anyone know of any group meetings in the Coventry area please
Thinking of you all Adrian
I know Meeting Point has always been invaded by Spammers but I had never seen spam on the Forum until all this stuff came in about membership or supporting membership .If I came on here now as a shocked bereaved parent I do not feel I would know where to go.
Nothing I say can help. But our Sons left about the same time so I can understand some of what you are going through.
I'm in denial at the moment I think, I pretend it hasn't happened ! don't know how long it will last.
Please keep reading TCF if it helps and we are always here to talk. Have you been on the Forum yet ? It's a bit
more chatty than Meeting point.
Love to you,
Shaun x
I will be thinking of you today and wishing you strength and peace
for Jack's birthday.
Shaun x
SENDING YOU STRENGTH AND WALKING WITH YOU TODAY ON YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY WITHOUT YOUR PRECIOUS ANGEL SON JACK. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK IN HEAVEN, HOPE YOU HAVE A BIG PARTY WITH ALL THE ANGEL CHILDREN.
Many thanks for your kind words i am sure i will be lookking through this site for a long time i am looking for a local group to have face to face contact (in coventry)
Lots of love to everyone
Adrian
So sorry you have lost your precious son Joe and our hearts go out to you on your loss. I do hope you find lots of love and support from this site -a true lifeline...
We send you love and strength as you journey on this never ending long road of grief and heartache but the beautiful times, and memories of Joe will be in your heart forever...
Sending you love & peace
Take care
Frances
Dear Mike & family
Remembering your precious Jack today on his 11th Birthday...we send Jack much love and thoughts x
We send you all love & strength on this special day..
all our love
Frances & Mike xx
Just like to say that after reading some of the post here i find that i have so much in common with other people i am amazed that the pain i go through there is other people out there that are doing the same right now,
A little part of Joe
Joe is my only son aged 13 Joe ttok his own life on the 6th march 2006 i know its been over a year since he died and i am only posting now it has taken me that long to only just start to see what has been happening to myself and the people who love Joe the pain, the guilt the anger (the anger is anger at myself for not preventing it i will never be angry with Joe for doing it), the sorrow are all emotions that rip through my mind nearlly every minute of every day I would like to finish for now by saying that I do remember all the fun , love and happpy times we all had with Joe and in my mind they will be there forever. If people want to email me feel free i would love to talk to others going through the grief aswell my email is private they will not be read or passed on to anyone else
Adrian
Anyway, will keep posting on this site.
Take care,
Mike
Frances I will be e mailing you soon.
I can't say anything to help you only that as another Dad I can feel some of the same pain
at loseing a Son. Not the same pain as you 'cause you are the only Dad that knows the pain
of loseing Jack but I know some of it.
Please keep in contact and talk as often or as long as you want. We will never change the subject.
Love to you,
Shaun, Oliver's Dad x
Your message has made me weep. Where do we go from here? What a good question. I am so sorry that you, or indeed any of us here, have to endure this.
For anyone wanting a stone for their child, "Memorials by Artists" is excellent and specifically for children.
Thinking of you all
F
"Where do I go from here"? is the question I keep asking myself.
How do we, as parents, attempt to carry on and try to continue our normal relations with family etc. when our whole world has been thrown into turmoil?
This is my first time posting on this site. We lost Jack on 5th October when a driver deliberately went through the lights when Jack was crossing the road using the green man. He did nothing wrong. We are still awaiting the murder trial. Anyway, this has been a horrible week as Jack's birthday is on Friday, he would have been 11. With his sister having her birthday on Thursday it's difficult to be happy for her when she is 13. We have planned to go up to Jack's grave with flowers and balloons but it is really hitting home more than usual that Jack is not here. I know it's another hurdle we face but I just don't seem to have the energy to keep going.
Hopefully we can keep in touch through this site.
Take care
Mike
Today was supposed to be my son Amir's 1st year old Birthday..He was born via caesarian after a long, slow progressing labour and I still remember the first night we had spent together at the hospital. He was a healthy, active baby and we only had him for 6 months 19 days (with his last 45 days in PICU). I kept thinking about him if he was still alive, today. I'm sure he would have started walking and making a mess in the house. It's hard to really believe that he would no longer be a major part of my life and that I only have his memory to live by.
Happy Birthday gorgeous boy! Hope you'll have a great celebration in Heaven! I'm sorry I couldn't have joined you..perhaps another time. :)
Little Boy in Heaven -> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/amir_aminudin/
Penny,
I can so totally relate to how you are feeling 6 months on especially with your son's 19th Birthday. Stevie was only 18yrs when he got taken, and his 19th Birthday spent at the grave yard was so very painful and emotional for us and his friends. Our circumstances sound very similiar so if you would like to email me I would like to hear from you.
Helen,
So very sorry to hear about the loss of your little girl, so very hard for you, but you did nothing wrong!Keep talking and take one day at a time. The TCF are always here for you.
Drusila,
What a lovely friend you have, and I hope that his voyage will be a good one and that he raises lots of money for Sallys Fund.
I too have come to believe that our children go onto join up in the Spirit World, and send us signs that they are still watching over us. What a beautiful sight that must have been with the feather. We had lots of signs like that in the early days(not so much now), but we had a feather inprinted on the top of Stevie's headstone.
My thoughts go out to all the new parents that have joined us on this site also.
Love and peace to you all.
Sue Stevie's Mum. Love and miss you so very much darling son.xxxxxx
14.2.87-2.11.05
I too have been under pressure from my parents to "sort out" Bens headstone. Easy for them to say, wonder how they would feel if it was us and they were haveing to do it?
Ben has been gone 2 years and 3 months and i have only just started to think about it, i actually went into the stonemasons and i saw the perfect stone but then the matter of money, so when i have saved some then i will go back.
Take your time and dont be pressurized into anything you dont want to do.
I keep wondering what i will have written on it and i just dont know so it goes on.
sending love and hugs to you and T
carole.x
It's such an awful thing we have to do, chosing a grave stone for our precious children, but please don't rush this, take your time and when your ready (we'll never really be ready for this!!) make sure you find a good stonemason who will help you and your family for this very difficult task...
all my love
Frances x
Sorry you need this place but welcome. We all block out the deaths of our children in some way to cope. It seems the grief will find a way out eventually. One of our friends took four years to start to deal with the death of his son and this dealing was sadly prompted by our sons death.
Glad you have found your way here.
Jane
I have been thinking about you all today..
What beautiful weather as Rob set out from the harbour, will keep in touch with you as to his progress...I'm sure the feather was from beautiful little Sally,who is watching too..
speak soon
Love
Frances xx
I have read some of the other posts which certainly makes you realise that im not alone but i real do feel it.
Im sorry for evey one elses loss
Rachel xxx
Im so sorry for the loss of your precious Holly.
Swwetheart you did nothing wrong, this question went through my mind when i lost my little girl 14 months ago, we are searching for answers all the time.
Your pain is so new and frightning, and yes you can carry on. Please when your ready tell us about little Holly.
Please dont forget YOU will always be Holly's mummy.
Sending love
Georgina x
His website is www.robaroundbritain2007.com if anyone is interested in having a look.
I do think of everyone and my heart goes out to all newcomers.
Love Drusilla
Sally Pugh 22/12/94-29/11/03
I am so sorry you have to be here, but glad you have found this site.
I have sent you an email.
xx
sorry guys to be so depressing
Helen
xxxxxxHollyxxxxxxxx
Sending you a hug and thoughts and love for your son's Birthday on the 27th April...
Frances x
I really don't know if I am going to be able to get to sleep tonight, as my mind is so consumed with my Sacha (like every other night and day) but with the added thoughts of setting her free to fly with the breeze tomorrow (Sunday 29th).
My thoughts are with all of you
Alysia
xxx
I will be thinking of you tomorrow as you scatter your precious daughters ashes.My son died two and a half years ago and we only just scattered his ashes a few weeks ago.I knew he was gone but to me it was the final act i just took a long time to let go.I found it so very emotional,but did feel a sense of having finally done the right thing.His dad and i wanted to just do it on our own.It was a beautiful spring day at Pilton near Glastonbury somerset,near to where we live.It felt like taking him to his spiritual home.I know that is where he would want to be.None of us ever imagine having to do this,it is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do.Love to you and your family.
Linda B
When are we ever supposed to be ready to scatter our child's ashes? I don't think that it is ever too soon or too late. Our children's spirit, as I believe, have left them on passing over and moved onto a new adventure. It is just left to us, as their parents' to do with their ashes as what we feel is right for us as individuals - everyone has their own personal wishes.
It wasn't until I was introduced to this site, that I realised that I am not on my own in these incredibly intense feelings of pain, and sense of horrendous loss, which we will never again be able to fill.
Thoughts to everyone out there
xxxxx
How can I do this without him? He was so full of life, energetic and so many people loved him.
Darling boy, I miss you so much and would give anything to be able to have you here with me.xxxx
Penny xx
My Brother made me scatter my sons ashes a bit too soon, but I was pleased it was over. Another hurdle on this bitter road of grief we tread.
Yes, you daughter need 'release' and so do you. I am thinking of you.
Love Frog
Thankyou so much for your kind words.
I feel at peace with the decision of scattering Sacha's ashes, as I know that Sacha would want her "earth being" to fly with the wind. I am just dreading the moment.
We have planted a beautiful camellia in the garden in in her memory so I have a place to sit and talk to her. The first 3 buds have just bloomed, and I hope I can take some comfort in nurturing it and watch it grow over the years as I should have been able to do so with Sacha.
Love to you and Allan
xx
I didn't have ashes to scatter because Allan wasn't cremated, but I just wanted to send you a hug and my love.
I know several of the parents here have never scattered their precious children's ashes but have chosen to keep them, and I know others have chosen to scatter some and keep some.
It's such a heartbreaking and personal decision, only you can know what feels 'right' (as if any of this could ever be right) but please don't do anything in haste. There's no rush to do anything at all and trust me 3 months is such a brief moment in this journey of grief.
My love to you and Sacha, and I wish you peace whatever you decide.
Val xxx
Remembering precious Amanda today on her 4th anniversary day..we send you all much love & thoughts..
Will light a candle in the garden, next to Angela's tree this evening for Amanda xx
Much love, will e-mail you shortly..
Take care
Love
Frances & mike xx
Love and thoughts to precious Billie today on her first anniversary, remembrance day..
will be thinking of you, especially beautiful Billie and will light a candle this evening for her with much love xx
Take care
Frances & Mike x
Much love to you and your gorgeous Billie today.
Billie's candle will be shining brightly beside Allan's tonight.
Val xxx
Georgie
WISHING YOU STRENGTH TODAY ON BILLIES FIRST ANGEL DAY, A CANDLE WILL BE LIT TONIGHT FOR YOUR ANGEL.
JACKS MUMMY
just to say I saw your email last night and tried to email you at home. We have common friends. Your goddaughter Catherine was with you Christmas 2005 when she heard the news about my Theodora. Catherine told me Giorgio's terrible story. I am so sorry.
Linda
I too lost my little girl 16 months ago. I agree the pain is more acute but think I get better at coping with it. I miss her every second of the day. HOW CAN IT BE?