Worldwide Candle Lighting 2016

Join us for The Compassionate Friends

Worldwide Candle Lighting on Sunday 11th December at 7 pm.

Find out if there is a public event near you

2016 Book of Remembrance
Post a message here remembering your child, sibling or grandchild.

This worldwide event unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honour the memories of the sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and grandchildren who left too soon.

Packed AGM spellbound by author of The Sad Book

Press release: Michael Rosen on his grief for his son and society’s difficulty with death.

"Sometimes sad is very big.
It's everywhere. All over me."

It was wonderful to hear children's author, poet and broadcaster, Michael Rosen speaking to a full theatre at The Compassionate Friends AGM on Saturday 5 November. Michael spoke openly to the bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents assembled there about his talented and funny son, Eddie, and his sudden death from meningitis at the age of 18. Talking candidly about his own and others' reactions at the time of his son's death, he also told us about the rituals and events he and his family organised as they tried to make sense of the loss of Eddie. A wonderful storyteller and inspiring speaker - all in the room were spellbound.

A powerful, searingly honest account of loss at this year's National Gathering

On the second day of the TCF Gathering of bereaved parents and siblings in Northamptonshire from 7-9 October, we held a moving remembrance candle lighting event. Some lovely words - in the form of short readings and poems - gave comfort as we viewed the names of the precious children we have lost and each of us lit a candle to remember and honour each son or daughter, brother or sister.

We were also fortunate to finish this emotional ,but lovely, event by welcoming our guest speaker, Professor David Mosse. David lost his beloved son, Jake, to suicide in 2010. With powerful, heartfelt and searing honesty, he spoke to us about the shock, confusion and indescribable pain of recent bereavement, the journey of loss as well as sources of strength and the power of sharing. He talked of 'one reality ending that day and another reality beginning' and of the urgent, overwhelming question 'why' - a question which ultimately is unanswerable. Like for many others, his son's suicide has set him on a lifelong search for understanding. David likened his grief for his son as like a 40 foot container crashing into his house - at first he thought he could take it away, but gradually came to realise that it would never go away and that he would have to continue walking 'around it'... He talked of joining a bereavement support group - and here found witnesses to his pain and his story as well as understanding - and how much he learnt from others talking about their sons and daughters, their grief and anguish. He stressed that his bereavement journey had gained strength from interrelating and intersecting with others who had suffered a similar loss. He spoke of finding - by talking with others - new ways of expressing and thinking about his tragedy, which in turn helped him to cope better. He finished with a few words about finding a future after such a devastating loss. That knowing the worst can happen brought for him an awareness of the fragility of life and therefore more compassion and understanding of others. It was a powerful session which spoke to all the bereaved parents and siblings there.

Read David Mosse's talk in full.

Trustee Election Update

Earlier this year nominations were invited by 9^th September 2016 for elections to the Board of Trustees of The Compassionate Friends, UK (TCF). There will be 7 vacancies on the Board of Trustees from 6^th December 2016. Four nominations were received by the deadline, two from existing elected Trustees – Margaret Brearley and Gina Claye – and two from existing co-opted Trustees – Andrew Miller and Maria Ahern. According to our Arts and Mems (2008), there will not be a vote by TCF donating members, as these nominees are deemed elected, since there are more vacancies than nominations.

Full details, including biographies, of the above newly re-elected and elected Trustees, together with a list of all current Trustees, will be sent to all donating members of TCF in mid October 2016, and a formal announcement will be made at the Annual General Meeting on 5^th November 2016 at the Friends Meeting House, Euston Road, London.

If you have any questions, please contact our current Chair of Trustees, Margaret Brearley or Company Secretary, Marie Ahern, via the National Office on 0345 1203785 or info@tcf.org.uk.