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One man cycling!

On 28 September 2021, 4 years after the death of his son, Stevie, by suicide, Gary Goodwin set off on his epic challenge - to cycle the length of the United Kingdom.

Gary commented... "I have always wanted to cycle from Lands End to John O Groats from a young age. So what better reason to tackle the task by raising money and marking Stevie’s life. I plan to start the solo cycle on the 28/09/2021 (Stevie’s 4th anniversary)... I’m not a young chap so therefore this will not be a speedy journey but more about getting to the finish line!"

Well, he made it and on 27 October he reached his goal, after an incredible and gruelling 922 miles!

Total time cycling; 95.36 hours or 3 days 9 hours

Total climb; 48,818 feet

Estimated revolutions for entire journey (based on averages); 400,512

Gary raised over £2000 for the The Compassionate Friends and you can still donate here . These vital funds will go towards supporting our work with bereaved parents.

Congratulations, Gary, on your amazing challenge and a huge THANKYOU from everyone at The Compassionate Friends.

Back in person - bereavement support days

We have been delighted to be able to welcome bereaved parents back to our in-person mini retreat days offering support, understanding and friendship. So far we have run these supportive days in Glasgow (September) and Romsey in Hampshire (October). Find out about the next days here and we hope to run more in 2022.

Bereaved parent Vera, writes about her experience of the Glasgow support day:

On Saturday 25th September I attended the Compassionate Friends gathering in Glasgow. I was awake early in anticipation, feeling a little nervous about the day ahead. The following day my son, Peter, would have been gone 3 years, just didn’t seem at all possible, those 3 years have been a rollercoaster of emotions, deep heartache and sadness, misunderstandings and no guarantee that things would improve any time soon. So how would this day go? Who would I meet? How would I feel at the end of the day? I arrived all jittery and nervous, spilling my welcome cuppa and I went into the room, took a seat and all nerves were left behind at the door.

I sat and chatted and talked about Peter to a bunch of strangers, but not really, I felt more comfortable than I had felt in a long time, they weren’t strangers for long. We were put into small groups, my little group was talkative and friendly and I felt we listened to each other. We heard each other’s stories, as sad and upsetting as they were, it felt good to talk. I realised how much I’d been holding in and wearing the ‘mask’, it felt good to let go and speak Peter’s name and tell people what a wonderful son he was and how lovely to talk about their children to.

I later took part in the writing group and we all said we couldn’t write, how wrong we were, once started it was difficult to stop, our feelings and thoughts coming through with pen and paper once again being able to talk and tell of our experiences.

A different group in the afternoon, about the future and ways of coping, I thought maybe I’d said one or two silly things, whilst at one time I would have worried about that, I didn’t, I knew people would understand. I think that’s what it’s all about, getting together, say how we feel and what’s happened to us since the death of our child, without feeling wrong for doing so. Such a worthwhile thing to do, it’s the best way of getting rid of the feeling that somehow we should be ‘getting better’, ‘moving on’ ‘no longer grieving’ as I think people expect us to do. There is no wrong way to grieve, we grieve our own way, but it’s oh so good to get together and talk.

I would recommend giving a day away with TCF a try, it’s last place you want to be, right? Yes and no, it’s the best place to be if you’re a bereaved parent.

We are hiring!

Could you be our Events & Community Fundraiser?

Find out more about this exciting opportunity to join our small team and make a real difference to the growth of The Compassionate Friends. We are looking for an exceptional individual to develop, implement and manage community and events fundraising for our growing charity.

Bearing The Unbearable with Dr Joanne Cacciatore

On the evening of 4 May 200 bereaved parents and siblings gathered together online to hear guest speaker, bereaved mother and expert on traumatic grief, Dr Joanne Cacciatore. Dr Jo shared her reflections of bearing the unbearable, that is the grief after the death of a child. She answered questions from the audience covering a range of topics including coping with family and friends; managing complex and overwhelming emotions after child loss, including guilt and anger; coping with birthdays and other special days; and the activities that can help us as we grieve for our child.

Sangeeta Mahajan reviewed the evening for us...

"Dr Joanna Cacciatore, a professor at Arizona State University delivered this talk from her farm in Arizona. She is the founder of the MISS Foundation and the Selah Carefarm. Her area of expertise is traumatic death, specifically child death.

After the loss of her fourth child, Cheyenne, 27 years ago, she looked for a therapist but none met her needs. She then decided to go back to study and research grief so she could help herself and others. Her book “Bearing the Unbearable’ was published in 2017 and has received multiple glowing reviews.

Joanne started with the quote by Katherine Anne Porter,

“The past is never where you think you left it.”