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Maggie’s story

JamieOur son, Jamie, aged 20, died on 24 September 2014 in a car crash; he was the only person involved.

We came across TCF in the back of the Brake Handbook, which the Police had given us about six weeks after Jamie had died. I initially joined the forum which I found a real sanity saver. The main point is that we were not alone, not going mad. All the horrible things we felt were ‘normal’ for a bereaved parent.

Good advice from people ranging from our own timeline to those weeks, months years ahead of us was massively helpful - from the basic - just get through the next minute, next hour etc ... to practical things like what might happen at an Inquest relating to a Road Traffic Accident. The latter advice on Inquests meant we could ask our Police FLO questions and thus were much better prepared than we might have been.

About three months after Jamie died I moved onto the Facebook Groups. I found these different - more immediate but less detailed. Great to be able to talk to someone online at 2am! I have made some good friends from these TCF groups and have met quite a few people now in person.

I liken it to the reverse of having a baby. When you have a baby you develop a network of friends who have babies so you can share the experience, compare notes and support each other. TCF does the same for bereaved parents - only other BP's can understand the trauma and the pain so therefore are key to helping

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