5 September 2023, 19.00 – 20.30

Online Via Zoom

We're sorry but this group is now fully booked. We do give priority to those who have not attended a group before and we do sometimes have cancellations so if you would like to attend please email us at events@tcf.org.uk to go on the waiting list or have priority for the next group. Thank you.

THE GRIEF OF MEN

The death of our child affects us as no other death can. However deeply we have loved anyone else who has died, we now face a loss that seems to be outside the natural order of things. Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. We are devastated. The unthinkable has happened: our child has died, and we are still alive. How can such a thing be? Every parent must face this terrible ordeal of grief when their child dies, but how we as fathers deal with our feelings can differ from how mothers grieve.

As adult males facing a tidal wave of emotions, we may feel that we are expected to keep a lid on our sorrow, to protect those around us and to be “strong”. We may struggle to acknowledge or show our real emotions because we are concerned about what others may think. We may also feel we need to be there for other family members and put their grief above our own. Yet we too need to allow ourselves to acknowledge our own thoughts, feelings and the tremendous sorrow we carry and to permit ourselves to be okay to be not okay, and to express this to those who we trust and with whom we feel comfortable.

Many men find it beneficial to talk with others who have experienced a similar loss – and we may cover issues such as how grief affects us and our relationships, differences in how men and women grieve, getting back to work, avoiding isolation together and any other issues we may want to share.

Stepfathers are welcome in this group.

We run this event as a facilitated online group using Zoom.

Unfortunately due to the nature of online groups we will be limiting the number of attendees and booking is only via our website. Please note that we will be giving priority to those who have not attended an online group before.

Once you book you will receive more details closer to the meeting date. Just a reminder to check your spam or junk email folders if you haven’t received the link for the online meeting by the day of the meeting. Please contact info@tcf.org.uk if you have any questions or queries.

Please note that these online events are run by bereaved parent volunteers. Our volunteers are not professionals and so what we offer is a uniquely warm, comforting and supportive online group organised and facilitated by parents who have also experienced the loss of a child and have found understanding and hope themselves through The Compassionate Friends.

If you are newly bereaved:
Please note, our online support group meetings may not be the most appropriate form of support for very newly bereaved parents. We know how vulnerable we can be in the early weeks and months of our grief and how raw the pain and heartache can feel.

In an online support environment, we will of course do all we can to express our empathy to newly bereaved parents verbally but we won’t be able to offer the very important physical presence and contact that physical groups can offer especially when parents become very upset. Our online meetings tend to be shorter than physical meetings which also means that we won’t have as much time to hear from all group members in the ways in which we would do if we were meeting face to face.

We know that in the early days of our grief, there is a strong need to tell our ‘story’ about the loss of our precious child. We know that this is a very important part of grieving – however, our support groups, whether online or face to face can only offer the opportunity to say a little about your loss and in not too much detail so as to enable everyone to have a chance to speak and also to minimise the risk of anyone attending being re-traumatised around their own loss by hearing graphic details of someone else’s loss. It would help to know how early you are in your loss and whether you are already receiving TCF support – what we don’t wish to do is increase the vulnerability of any bereaved parent by not managing your expectations about what our support group offers and is unable to offer. We may make contact if we need to explore with you whether our online group support is the most appropriate way to support you at this stage in your loss.