Coping with Christmas

toast during the Christmas meal means so much, but many people would be scared of doing this unless you tell them. • With family members or other people you are close to, try to talk to each other about how you are feeling, or what you all might want to do. Thinking and talking together can help us to prepare ourselves for Christmas, and sometimes when these plans do go right, the day can bring surprising comfort to us. • If you have young children be aware that they might wish for Christmas to carry on as before – although this can be enormously painful for you, for surviving children the normality of Christmas celebrations can be a comfort • Some parents don’t send cards at Christmas any more. Others like to include their child’s name – for example - “Love from x, x and x and always remembering xx”. You can also ask others to include a similar sentiment on any cards they send you. A small gesture which can really lift our hearts. • Don’t put too much stress on yourself. If there are difficult relations who expect to visit or for you to visit them, just say you can’t do it this year if it’s going to make you feel worse. Or introduce a time limit - “We’ll come over for a quick drink but will only stay an hour.” • Develop a Christmas ritual involving your child – attend a candle lighting service with other bereaved parents; spend time at a special memorial place on your own or with others; make or buy a special card or decoration for your child. • Spend time with people who understand. Avoid those who don’t. • On the day itself, make time for yourself to escape if things are too much. A walk outside can really help ease tensions. Or take yourself off for a long warm bath. • If you can’t cope with the idea of Christmas at all, go away and do something completely different. (Be aware, though, that sometimes being away from supportive friends or family can be more difficult and the jollity of strangers may be painful) • Volunteer for a charity helping the homeless or elderly over Christmas. This can be some small distraction and you are doing good too. • Try to take some gentle exercise every day - really helps boost those much- needed endorphins.