SIBBS Newsletter, Winter 2021

SIBBS Newsletter, Winter 2021 | www.tcf.org.uk 4 have been a more perfect death, a juxtaposition of course, but he died amongst those who spent their lives adoring him, in the place he adored. The trauma of watching my brother die in front of me will remain with me forever, but the greatest privilege of being his sister will rest alongside this. When your sibling dies, you lose a part of your past, your present and your future. The years that have passed have changed my grief. In the months after it, every day hurt. Tears would sting my eyes with almost every breath I took. I knew no one else who had lost a sibling, I could not find any literature to help and sibling loss felt and still feels like an incredibly lonely place. It still hurts, and sometimes I am knocked back by the intensity of those waves of grief that still hit. I still feel pangs of jealousy of my friends with complete ‘alive’ families. I feel such sadness that my son will never meet his Uncle in person. But there is hope and we carry precious Chris into the future. The grief has just got different, not easier, just different. For me, the most cathartic experience was in writing. In the year following Chris’ death I wrote and carried on writing until there was enough for a short biography of his life. He now has a book in his memory, and his life story is in print. I can now see that the stories we share are such powerful ones. Like all of yours. Not only are these simply stories of love and heartbreak, but also of hope. I want to share this message of hope to you all in this season of Christmas. Christmas a time of love and hope, but for so many of us, a time of remembering and of loss. Hope gives us all the strength to carry on. It persists continually and lives within our souls. If we take away the heartbreak of our stories, we will take away the power. Be gentle to yourselves this season. Beth x