In memory of Samuel Lewis
Dearest Sam,
Xxxxx
We miss you so much, there are no adequate words to express how heartbroken we are, the sadness, anguish & disbelief.
How very delicate & fragile this precious life is.
It goes without saying it’s traumatic for any family to have to organise the funeral of a son or daughter. It shouldn’t happen under any circumstances but sadly it does.
Our son x x .
A brother, a special firstborn grandson, much loved nephew, & friends starting out in life together ….
It’s devastating when a bright life & love is snatched away.
As parents we feel we live in a different dimension nowadays and it doesn’t feel at all right, never will.
Our family is just one family amongst many others.
Sadly we know that hundreds of parents in the U.K face the trauma of unexpected loss of a son or daughter every year. And back in 2020, in the earliest weeks of lockdown, we were amongst those not allowed a funeral with extended family & friends, instead there were just 5 of us. It did not seem real. Still doesn’t.
As I write this in early 2025 it’s been almost 5 years since we had to say our goodbyes in March 2020. Our family of six became five. This year you would be 32 yrs old - & in the meantime there have been many changes, wedding celebrations, the birth of your gorgeous niece & nephew …
And sad events too (in 2020 and soon after) we also had to say goodbye to other special people, including your godfather, & friends and other family members you loved.
Sam, you’d no doubt smile at some things that have happened, the adventures many friends are having & some have settled down, if that’s the right expression.
But sadly too many events in the world would have made you very sad & question things.
What’s it all about (?) and why can’t the focus be on more kindness towards each other in such a short time on this earth! We wish we could capture all the endless love we had, in order to bring more peace, stability & hope for all young people right now. There are so many questions which are hard to answer about why things are the way they are.
Life is precious. And it’s impossible to anticipate the forever nature of death & separation. Sometimes it feels like you are quite close by.
We want to remember the best times. We try to focus on the very happiest family years together when we all lived in The Netherlands until 2004 - and our summers camping in France (not sure you’d agree!), & in particular the beautiful family times in Wales. All was relatively uncomplicated then, the sun seemed to shine way more often, and although there were the usual ups & downs of life, all the dreams & optimism were yet to be trampled on.
We now try to build strength for the future & it takes lots of energy (!) especially as sleep is so elusive - something you experienced all too often and which we now understand better. Without sleep it’s impossible. Therefore we made a donation (in mid 2020) to The Sleep Charity & research into insomnia, etc and many other sleep disorders.
As parents we know the challenges & anxieties & sleep problems you tried to overcome in the last few years and we wish we had the chance to do things differently and to turn the clock back. Sadly no one can do that.
It took two to three years - but in the end we had letters of apology sent to us - too late - as nothing will bring you back, we know that. You tried so hard. Too many people are let down. It’s a big part of the story and we want things to be so much better for other sons & daughters in young adulthood who need healthcare assessment but are unable to access it.
We miss you and your big hugs every single day.
We’ll always be thankful for having you in our lives for 26 years. We just wish it could have been longer.
We miss you, we miss you.
Loads of love - Cariad mawr - mum & dad & all x
**Also, through the most difficult times, we need to extend heartfelt thanks to TCF, London based, and in our local area too (special thanks to our local volunteer support organiser & for Terry’s walks) - for friendship, conversations, tears, & time spent together with other bereaved mums & dads & siblings.
It would be an even lonelier place to negotiate going forwards without meeting The Compassionate Friends, which will always be a very important charity to us**
The supportive leaflet 'Introducing The Compassionate Friends: For health and social care professionals' was sponsored in memory of Sam in 2023. The leaflet can be accessed here, with the dedication to Sam on page 10: https://www.tcf.org.uk/flip/Intro-TCF-health-and-social-care-professionals/
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