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“A much-welcomed safe place where you can laugh and cry freely and be understood.”

The beginning of spring at TCF brought our first two support days of the year for bereaved parents.

In March, we visited St Sidwell’s Community Centre in Exeter with a team of wonderful bereaved parent volunteers who together welcomed 30 bereaved parents to the venue. The following week, the TCF team and volunteers made their way to Greyfriars Charteris Centre in Edinburgh for the second day supporting 45 parents.

The events began, as all our support days and retreats do, with refreshments, everyone collecting their lanyard with their name, their location, and the name of their beloved child or children and a short welcome and introduction to the day. These were followed by small breakout groups for parents to introduce themselves and their children to each other, with the support of volunteer group facilitators.

Sam’s mum, Mari, commented “The small introductory group session was very supportive and well moderated…And I feel group members felt safe and shared their stories of loss in a supportive way, in the company of moderators who themselves had firsthand experience of similar tragic loss, with many of our young people having struggled with their mental wellbeing. It seems to me that having a small session group at the beginning of the day makes everyone feel less alone and less isolated.”

Throughout the day, there were sharing sessions for parents to choose from that focused on various aspects of grief, such as managing social situations, surviving the early years of child loss, continuing bonds and a memory café, where parents shared precious memories of their child. Bereaved mum, Linda, said; “I attended the memory café…where hearing other people’s memories of their child reminded me of some of the smaller details of my own son’s childhood. It was an uplifting way to end the day thinking about memories which I hadn’t visited for a long time.”

There were also creative activities throughout the day, such as making a terrarium bottle garden or a needle felting workshop. Sessions like these give parents the opportunity to channel their emotions into a calm and creative activity, working alongside other grieving parents, whilst sharing their thoughts with the group if they wish to. Ross’s mum, Julie, mentioned that she, “enjoyed the craft session in the afternoon, it was more relaxed and less intense.” Another bereaved mum said that she “enjoyed doing something creative as a break from talking.”

Both support days had several breaks with refreshments in between activities, including a short walk in the local area. We recognise the importance of making space for parents to take breaks at these events, giving individuals the opportunity to connect with others whose story, thoughts or feelings resonate with them. We encourage all attendees to take what they need, be it fresh air, a little movement, some stillness, refreshments, connection, or something else.

The days finish with a larger group closing session; sharing what has helped, closing thoughts and feelings from attendees and volunteers, and signposting to more layers of support. “This was a nice way to end the day, just affirming that you aren’t alone in your struggles,” said a bereaved father.

TCF are extremely grateful to our volunteers, without whom these events would not be possible. We also thank every parent who attended, shared their grief and love for their children and allowed themselves to be open so that they might find support in the company of fellow bereaved parents.

We want to share a final comment from one of our attendees – a few sentences that summarise exactly why TCF exists and why our staff and volunteers are so dedicated to providing peer support to grieving parents:

“You can stop and look around and see people enjoying themselves in what you would imagine to be such a bleak day. Even though everyone has lost a child or children their resilience is clear to see. The need to survive while honouring our loved ones is our only path forward. It is a much-welcomed safe place where you can laugh and cry freely and be understood.”

View upcoming supportive events with TCF here or contact our team by email at helpline@tcf.org.uk or by phone on 0345 123 2304 to find out more about the peer support available from our charity.