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Exeter mini-retreat and support day

On Saturday 22 June, 25 bereaved parents came together at a central Exeter venue to join a TCF support day. We spent the day talking and sharing with each other finding comfort, friendship, understanding and hope. A delicious lunch was provided. Peer support like this can really help to know we are not alone and that we are there for one another as we find ways to cope after the death of our precious children. A huge thank you to the volunteers (pictured right who supported at the day - Claire, Jancis, Yvonne, Alison, Teresa, Elaine, as well as Ruth and Carolyn from the Compassionate Friends staff team.

Bernadine, Serena's mum, attended this mini-retreat and she has written up her experience of the day:

"My name is Bernadine and I'm grieving for my beloved daughter,  Serena, who took her life in June 2022. When I received the email regarding the retreat day in Exeter,  Devon,  I thought the day would be perfect to coincide with the second anniversary of Serena's death,  which was Sunday 23rd June 2024. And only costing £30.00 for the whole day including lunch suited my budget and was a very affordable price.

I decided to go to Exeter for a long weekend and duly booked my coach and hotel to travel to Exeter from Buckinghamshire where I live.   The 9 hour coach journey there didn't deter me, as I was very motivated to meet up with volunteers and other bereaved parents.   I have already attended 2 of the weekend retreats in Birmingham and Northampton which I found to be both comforting and friendly etc.

I travelled overnight on the coach, arriving at my hotel in the early hours with just enough time for a couple of hours sleep.  I got ready for the conference and my taxi picked me up to get me there for 10 am.  I was greeted with a huge smile and a hug from Alison,  one of tcf volunteers (I already knew her from previous conferences) and also another lovely lady at the door.

I instantly felt a warm welcome.  Coffee, cake and biscuits were being served. I was given a lanyard and programme for the day. I knew straight away I was in the company of people I had longed to be with,  as only they could understand what it is to be a bereaved parent.

A lovely lady approached me as I sat down with my coffee and we introduced ourselves and she asked me if she could join me.  Of course, I said and we got talking about our precious children.

At 10 am we all gathered in a large room for the opening words. The group was much smaller than the weekend retreats,  there must have been about 30 people.  It was lovely but very sad for the reason that brought us together.  Then afterwards there was a choice of 3 groups for discussion topics.  The smaller groups were very personable and nice. Then after the discussion groups finished another tea break and then another choice of discussion group. We all were invited to share in the group but if you wanted to refrain from talking then that was fine.

Lunch was served in the cafe area. A magnificent spread of tasty fresh sandwiches,  quiché and fruit salad etc. There was plenty to go round.  Everyone was so friendly and kind.  There were always volunteers on hand to ask any questions you might have.  The afternoon was the choice of crafts or two other topics for discussion.  I went straight for the crafts as I have done before at other retreats which I found very therapeutic for me. There was an amazing array of craft materials,  so much choice.   I designed a "miss you" card for Serena.  It was at that point I felt overwhelmed with sadness and grief and left the group to get some fresh air....After a few minutes,  Alison - one of the volunteers - kindly came out to see if I was OK.  I thought that was very caring and thoughtful.

We had afternoon tea and delicious cake, plus we were given friendship cards to swap names and phone numbers which was very useful and a lovely way of keeping in contact.  To end the day, we all gathered in the meeting room for the closing speech.  I'm afraid to say that by then, I felt so fatigued from not having much sleep,  and the full on day, I was unable to pay much attention.  We all said our goodbyes and gentle hugs.

Well, what a day! I came away feeling so glad I attended this one day retreat.  It was perfectly organised and I got the kind of comfort,  I could never get from anyone else;  it truly means so much to me to be in the company of bereaved parents.

Needless to say, I went to bed very early that night and slept soundly!

And so, a huge thank you to the TCF volunteers for laying on yet another amazing event!