What is peer support?

What is peer support (for bereaved parents and adult siblings)?

Compassionate Friends’ volunteers offer empathy and listening support to parents and siblings who have experienced the loss of a child or sibling. We do this having all experienced the loss of a child or sibling ourselves and with our support being based on this shared understanding and experience. We do not offer professional support or counselling. We do not offer advice or advocate specific ways of coping with bereavement as we recognise that all grief is individual.

The Compassionate Friends is a secular organisation which means our peer support does not have any element of faith.

Bereaved parents or siblings who wish to become volunteers are required to be at least four years past their own bereavement (ideally more). Volunteer training includes safeguarding, boundary maintenance, self-care and code of conduct guidance and policies. TCF volunteers and staff have up-to-date DBS checks and volunteer agreements in place, including reference to maintaining confidentiality.

Who do The Compassionate Friends support?

Our charity offers support primarily to parents bereaved of a child, from one month old to an adult child. We support parents who are bereaved of a baby (1 month old or over), toddler, young child, school age child, teenager, young adult or older adult child. Happy to go with wording in red above. The bereavement can be to any cause, for instance sudden or long term illness (for example cancer), suicide, substance or alcohol use, through a road traffic incident, a sudden accident or as a result of mental health struggles.

We also offer support to bereaved adult siblings (aged 18 and above).The death of a sibling may have been occurred some time ago, perhaps in childhood, or more recently.

Please note that our support for grandparents bereaved of a grandchild is currently limited. For details of our current support for bereaved grandparents, please phone our helpline on 0345 123 2304 or email helpline@tcf.org.uk.

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When and how can I access Compassionate Friends peer support?

Support for parents in very early bereavement (the initial 3 months following loss):

Parents who are in the first 12 weeks of their loss can access support from our Helpline by ringing 0345 123 2304 or contacting us by email at helpline@tcf.org.uk.

We can offer an initial support call from one of our Helpline volunteers, all of whom are bereaved parents – please email us at helpline@tcf.org.uk to request a call.

Our Helpline team can also let you know more about our other peer support available to you both nationally and locally and when this can be accessed.

You are welcome to receive our free bereavement support pack containing leaflets and other literature personalised to your individual circumstances. You can request a pack from our Helpline or here.

Our postal grief library holds over 100 titles on all aspects of child and sibling loss, bereavement and grief. You are welcome to access this support by emailing library@tcf.org.uk or via our postal library webpage. Our online support videos, podcasts and blogs are also available for you to watch, listen to and read. Here bereaved parents and siblings share about their loss and grief and how they have found ways to cope. Our online Community Forum is also available to bereaved parents.

Support for bereaved parents after the initial 3 months:

From three or more months bereaved, and in addition to the above support, bereaved parents can access:

· Local group support (where available and appropriate)

· Local one-to-one support (where available and appropriate)

· Private, moderated Facebook groups for loss in all or specific circumstances and access to our more informal Compassionate Pals Facebook groups

· Online sharing sessions for loss in specific circumstances

· Local walks

· Grief companion support (please note that criteria apply)

· Helpline support continues to be here for you throughout and however long you are bereaved

· Please note that supportive weekend retreats or support days are available to bereaved parents from 6 months after loss.

Support for bereaved adult siblings

In early grief (up to 12 weeks of bereavement) siblings are welcome to:

· contact our Helpline for listening support (please note that our Helpline Volunteers are bereaved parents not siblings}

Bereaved siblings who are 3 or more months’ bereaved are welcome to:

· access our private sibling Facebook group which will connect you online with other siblings across the UK

· attend our occasional online support groups to connect with other bereaved siblings

· attend our annual supportive overnight retreat (open to siblings who are 6 or more months after bereavement)

· join our volunteer-led walks for bereaved parents and adult siblings

 

We hope you will make contact with us in the first instance by calling our Helpline on 0345 123 2304 or emailing helpline@tcf.org.uk. Our volunteers are here to listen and support, and will let you know what support is available to you.

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How our peer support has helped others

“I wasn’t sure what to expect when I contacted TCF, but I am so glad I did, just talking to someone who understood how I felt at that point was what I needed, everyone I spoke with was so lovely and supportive. This service is so important to help people with their grief, I felt so alone, I wasn’t, but that was how I felt.”

“Thank you for the kindness and care offered when I contacted the helpline. Also for the support pack and personalised letter which meant so much.”

“I just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude to Compassionate Friends for the siblings support group last night. It really felt like such a safe and supportive space to share our feelings. The facilitators were both wonderful, so sensitive, responsive and skilled. Hearing other people’s stories really helped me to feel less alone and isolated in my grief.”